*headscratch*

     Been a while, hasn't it? I don't know, I'm just tired. This was supposed to be an every day thing, and that's not exactly happening. :| Ain't it?

Starting Fresh

Like a tomato. Why, I don't even like tomatoes. But, I just want to have a fresh start. That doesn't seem to be working. I just really want to just break free from my life, and yes go on an Eat, Pray, Love or something. A road trip. Yes. A road trip. Two weeks, driving wherever, whenever. But, more than that, I want to assess my friendships. I feel like I've never made a friend of my own. Well, I want to find my true friends. I just spent the past 30 minutes typing out this huge thing about my friendships over the years, but decided not to. At this point, I think if I were to take a road trip, it'd be a family trip. Family as in my closest friends. I want to see how we'd survive. Maybe, I should take an all gal trip as well. I keep bouncing between gal pals, it's not even funny. So, at this point, I'd take Lynn, Isannah, Thea,  and Jean. I think that's it for my friends who are female. Time to narrow that even farther after this trip. If I ever take it. If I do, I'll be starting fresh. No one will know who I am, heck I don't know who I am. So, won't this be fun.

Apologies: Part Duex

Work. Work. Work. That's all I hear and see now. Fun = Sleep I feel so old.

Apologies

       My apologies, I didn't write yesterday. Why? I was dancing. For 2 hours. I was tired, had homework, had procrastinated. You get the gist. So, yeah. That's how that goes.

Sick to the Stomach

       My stomach is in knots over the crossroad, people think I'll just continue on the path that's paved and straight, the one I'm supposed go to. I would suffer immensely on that path, as it's long and tedious, and well, it's miserable. But there's another path, it's a bit crooked, a bit longer, but it has benches, guides, and seems happy. But there's another path, one I hadn't assumed until now.
       It might be shorter, might be longer, depending on how you look at it. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid of not taking the safe and miserable road. If I keep taking that road, then I'll doom the ones around me. Or, they won't notice anything at all. This blog was supposed to be happy, but it seems like a portal for angst. Ugh. Anyway, if I take the middle path, it seems like I'll suffer. If I take the slightly crooked and longer path, I might be happier. But the one that is completely to the side is also looming.
       I'm feeling sick to my stomach over a decision to make, and what's worse? I feel like I have to make it alone.

A Crossroad of Confusion

       I can pick out "auras" quickly. I can usually tell if I will like someone or not, just be looking at them. It's strange. It usually works. Not all the time, but usually. I've been at this place for a little bit more than a week, and I can tell there's something funky with the aura. Where I was, I cannot go again but, I wish there was a next best thing. This doesn't seem so at the moment. That does seem like it would be a place where I would be happy, but there are problems with this and that. All the more to make me stressed with.
      I wish I could go back there, not this or that, but there, I cannot go back to. Only this or that. Sadness and denial fills my mind. I have the urge to draw depressing things. But, what is truly depressing or sad? I have no idea, really. This is going to be a problem. A BIG problem. And I have dance auditions on Tuesday. Joy to the world.

Don't Turn Back Now That We're Here: Part Deux

       Just headed home from my audition. Goodness, I know I should be more prepared, but I wasn't because that's just who I am. I leave EVERYTHING to the last minute. Yeah, like how I didn't know my acting cut until like 20 minutes before? Uh huh. Yup. I'm so smooth like that. SMOOTH. Anyway, I'm hoping for the best. :)